Deadly Moment – a miracle

I was in a car accident three months ago, a deadly and miraculous accident caused by myself. I am grateful that I am still alive and able to continue my blog. 
For the first two months, I was still feeling shaken from what happened. I kept asking myself if it was just a dream or was I really involved in the accident? How can I not get badly injured and perhaps on a wheel chair right now? Is it really me that was stuck inside the car? 
On April 10, I was on I-5 driving south late in the evening.  It was dark, but the road was as dry and clean as it could be… I have driven through the same section of the freeway numerous times and have been through the worst freeway condition – pouring rain, fleet of continuous freight truck traffic, and almost white-out condition in snowy days.  One night I had a record of passing 23 trucks which large wheels churned heavy rain and generated large water blinds that almost blocked my sight, and I broke my way through.
rock fiesta
Piece of cake to drive tonight, I thought.  Driving as usual, I thought about the meeting tonight, the beautiful rocks that we used for photography subject and the favorite group of people that I really enjoy to hang out with. Then I fell into a train of thought till I noticed that my left wheel was on double yellow lines. Oh, No. I said to myself. 
In panic, I instantly tried to steer the car to the right. Too much to the right, I wanted to set it back to left a little bit… but my car seemed suddenly to act like a wild horse which ignored my command.  It ran fast forward left and right one more time and swung out of the freeway, down to the grass patch outside the shoulder, all seemed in a split second. I still had my hands hanging on to the steering wheel tight, and the immediate next thing I knew was, my car rolled over and landed on its side. I was at the bottom of the car and passenger side was up in the air.
solitude
I had an instant space phobia because my car was locked and I felt trapped just like what I saw in the movies. I felt like floating inside the space shuttle and could not hang on anything to station myself. “Is it really me who is trapped in a car?”  “Am I still alive?” “Is this heaven or earth?” Those thoughts were bombarding me like rain showers. And I realized that I was still intact, my hands and legs were still connected to my body. I turned my head couple times and it was still attached to my neck. I could feel pain, soreness and stiffness, but my mind was crystal clear. I finally came to a conclusion: I was in a car accident but I survived.
My first thought is to get out of the car through the window, but the window was locked. I then realized that I had to re-start the engine in order to open the window, but I was shaking so bad that I could not turn my key which was still in the ignition. I thought to call my husband, but I found out that my purse had got thrown to the back and down on the floor, too far to reach and so was my smartphone.  I kept telling myself not to panic and only think about the next step….
A nice young couple Roger and Christina were on the way to Bay area from Portland. They were behind me and witnessed the accident when I lost the control of my car. They were able to change lanes immediately and kept safe. Instead of keeping on their journey, they stopped their car and came back to check on me. Christina was signaling me from outside the car to open the window and get out of the car. I tried it again to start the ignition and finally got it started. I was able to open the window and get out of the car. Just before I was completely out of the car, I thought about an extra cell phone that I stored in my glove box as a backup. Thanks God, the phone was working. I called my husband, and started my words as “I am in a car accident but I am not injured….”
I was not injured in any severe way, but I had minor bruises on my face, I hurt my left shoulder moderately and I have sprung my back to some degree. Nothing serious and I was able to stand up and talk with Roger and Christina.  She said she was so scared when she came close to my car. She was prepared to either see a dead body, a bleeding face or a crippled someone, so she was happy to see me alive and not seriously wounded. Christina and Roger have stayed with me the whole time while I was waiting for highway patrol to show up. I should have asked for their contact information, but I was too shaky and not thinking.
This is America. Every single life is precious and valued. Fire truck and Ambulance both came to the scene almost immediately. I was handed over a blanket and many came to check on me. Even though I repeatedly told the workers that I was fine, they still wanted to reassure that I was not hurt and I don’t need any care. State police and towing company could not show up immediately due to traffic. About the same time, my husband also arrived from his one hour drive. How lucky I was that there was barely any traffic when the accident occurred?  
As of today, we only informed our family and a few close friends about my accident. My meditation period is over and I have decided to open it to the public. I have learned my lesson and I hope others can also be benefited from this lesson. 
1.     Undivided Attention
I was not talking on the phone or texting, but my mind wandered for a few seconds. Most of the freeway accidents occurred in few seconds. Second time can cause a disaster and is too short for us to react properly. I-5 is long and straight. I have been driving for a long time straight forward, suddenly the rhyme is being altered, and I was not in full alert state of mind to respond.
2.     Think to Brake
I may have my cruise control on and while I was panicking, I did not remember to hit the brake. I just did not think about brake at that critical moment!!! If I did, I may not be talking about it now. 
3.     Thank God
The spot where I had my car rolled over is a grass field outside the paved freeway. Further down, there is a nursery. Grass ground is soft and the impact is not as big. It is also not slippery. So as soon as my car hit the grass, rolled over and it stopped.  If the car continues to roll, I may get bruises and broken bones, or worse, lifeless. If I had run off the freeway just 1-2 minutes earlier, I would crash into the row of concrete barriers, and fatal damage to both my car and myself are not unimaginable.
It was late and not a lot of cars on the freeway, and fortunately, no second car was involved in the accident.  It seems to me that all other cars were sucked up to the air by a supreme power and I was prepared a soft spot to land my car, just to give me a warning. I feel so blessed.
4.     Don’t Panic
Particularly if you are a believer, you know that we were created and brought to the earth for a purpose and for a length of time. If we are not pre-ordained to depart yet, we won’t. If we are, we just have to leave.
We have always been educated or trained these to do’s and not to do’s under unusual circumstances, but are we able to respond exactly how we are trained to do? Common sense doesn’t always control our instinct and our reaction does not always follow our instinct. In my case, the word ‘brake’ was simply blocked and I was attempting a useless solution.  It is all because I was in panic and could not think through.  Emboss No Panic in heart and mind and make it come natural when disaster suddenly invades.
So, peace comes to me in the wake of my accident. Life is so fragile, so precious and wonderful.
Peace 

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